@kirahesser: Documentaries not only expand my world views, but also compel me to change my behavior for a solid 24-36 hours.
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@therealeatwood: JONATHAN EDWARDS: God abhors a sinner and holds him over the flames of hell like some loathsome insect LOATHSOME INSECT: Wow I’m right here
@ShutUpThatsWho: [pirate ship capturing another ship] Pirate: Prepare to be bored! Other Captain: Don't you mean boarded? *pirate opens stamp collection*
@Deirdreocx: If you're ovulating and have sex standing up... Is it called a standing ovulation? Asking for a friend
@GrantTanaka: Helped my son flush his betta fish today. He asked "Dad, does God love bettas?" & I said "Dunno, son, ask him after we flush you."