@Breadery: Dodgeball but with random people that don't know they're playing.
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@QwertyJones3: [First date] HER: I want a man who is intensely passionate when he sees something he wants ME: PASS THE FREAKING SALT
@9589smith: Son, I've made some questionable decisions in life & I must go away for awhile to face the consequences. How I tell my 5yo I'm off to poop
@NicestHippo: BEAR JUDGE: Counsel, this is your last warning, you cannot-- LAWYER: *plays dead* BEAR JUDGE: Where did he go