@TheRealJackDee: Does anyone have the number of a painter/decorator? I really need to get all my windows jammed so they never open again.
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@shatterpants: I am realistically only 1 crossbow away from accidentally killing someone with a crossbow.
@RadOrDie: I bet a lot more people would read the Bible if it was called The Adventures of Jesus and Friends.
@cbdoubleu: Wife: I lost my day planner. Me: Not in your briefcase? W: No. I looked EVERYWHERE. M: Well it looks like you've got a hidden agenda W: