@TheRealJackDee: Does anyone have the number of a painter/decorator? I really need to get all my windows jammed so they never open again.
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@Tommytoughstuff: ME: This electric toothbrush knocked a few of my teeth loose. DENTIST: That's an egg beater.
@crunchenhancer: I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.
@lilgapeach30: 3 rules for having good teeth: brush and floss twice a day, see your dentist twice a year, and keep your nose out of other peoples business.
@DeepDarkFear: BEARD PROGRESSION: 1. Clean shaven babyface. 2. Cool stubble. 3. Rugged. 4. Homeless man. 5. Psycho killer. 6. Religious nutjob. 7. Wizard.