@PetrickSara: Does anyone know a good locksmith? I spent the entire day cleaning the entire house and need to keep my family out.
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@KalvinMacleod: Wife: Are you even listening to me? Me: Of course W: Oh yeah, what did I say? M: [smoke bomb] W: I can still see you M: [Another smoke bomb]
@LurkAtHomeMom: People who aren't entombed in 8 feet of snow, what's it like to live in a tropical paradise?
@trevso_electric: Talking about your ex makes it sound like you're not over them. Hide their body and move on like a normal person.
@sad_tree: Snake: eat that apple Adam:nah S:u scared A:no S:lol u scared A: *eats apple* S: whoa I didnt thnk u would do it lol sick now eat that poop