@tweetingdouche: Does anyone know how the lady reacted when Van Gogh gave her his ear? Was it positive? Cause I'm running out of ideas for gifts.
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@Sickayduh: Good cop: We got you red-handed! Weatherman cop: Well there's a 70% chance of guilt but I'd go ahead and make weekend plans
@jonnysun: *sees sister's facebook post that her dog died* how do i tell her i love her & i'll always be there for her *clicks sad face button* perfect
@NoticablyBacon: Its a little cheesy but holding up a boom box outside her window and blasting the song "Cotton Eye Joe" will win her back everytime