@tweetingdouche: Does anyone know how the lady reacted when Van Gogh gave her his ear? Was it positive? Cause I'm running out of ideas for gifts.
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@NJFreudian: Which doesnt belong? Camel Polar Bear Obama Buffalo Camel......It's the only one on the list that knows something about the Middle East
@Laser_Cat: The guy who invented doors must have been a big hero to the thousands of people standing around outside their homes.
@markhoppus: I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your email..."
@Reverend_Scott: [Glass slipper fits on ugly girl with same shoe size as Cinderella] Prince Charming: Um... well. Tell ya what, I'm gonna keep on looking.