@bridger_w: Does anyone want a free microwave? Contact me. We can talk about how we both want a free microwave
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@okimstillhungry: Me: Whats wrong babe? Her: Nothing. Me:*Pauses DVD of Shrek 2 that Ive had on a loop since losing my job* No somethings wrong I can tell.
@Kamikaze_Blonde: Joan of Arc was sainted but I'm the only person in our house who replaces the toilet paper and nobody says a word.
@SimonMaloy: TWITTER: something just isn't clicking here HORDE OF RACIST EGGS: [cacophony of immoral filth] TWITTER: eliminate the looping video service