@GiantsofDiving: Does everyone get take 'by mouth' printed on their pills or did the pharmacist look me over and think hmm...this guy might go the other way?
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@robdelaney: My neighbor just walked by carrying some pots for planting & I said "Looks like you won the pottery lottery!" Now everyone is mad at me.
@MenHumor: Dear Edward, maybe the reason you can't read Bella's mind is because there's nothing in her head. Sincerely, Logic.
@Donnie_Fairburn: One time someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?