@kcmoore51: Does everyone have that ONE follower who will Fav the hell outta every RT...but wouldn't even piss on your own tweets if they were on fire?
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@NotThatKevin: I said my wife's name three times in front of the bathroom mirror and now my wallet's empty...
@smithsara79: OB-GYN: Ever consider having kids? Me: *remembers the time I heard some man tell a little girl to smile & she told him to die* Just once.
@C00LpenNAME: I think the real life lesson Darth Vader tries to teach us is having children can ruin your life