@BoogTweets: Does grape jelly go bad or do I just have wine jelly now?
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@jenyb4: Before I had a kid I thought, god, I wish I could say "please put your shoes on" 17,000 times every morning. My dreams have come true.
@Mr_Kapowski: I'm that guy who plays Pictionary and draws the shittiest representation of the clue and spends the entire time circling it at various speed
@karentozzi: Welcome to middle age, here's your card. You'll now have a favorite local weatherman and your elbows will never be pointy again.
@2tickytacky: I remember when "Something's eating up data." meant that guy from Star Trek was deeply troubled.