@brunopieroni: Does WebMD ever just say "you're fine, there's nothing wrong with you, go play outside you drama queen?"
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@clindsaysway: Guy at the Apple store suggested I turn off my phone once a week, so I slapped his face and ran out of the store crying.
@megalot_: Well, I don't know how my tattoo is gonna look when I'm 60, Carol, but I know you'll be dead by then so
@HatfieldAnne: I shake you awake. “An octopus can create human-like, virtual elbows when feeding. Go back to sleep. I’ll tell you the rest in the morning.”
@leechee420: I saw my friend's kids at Walmart and they told me they were lost and I was like "good luck guys" and walked away. I'd be a great mother.