@brunopieroni: Does WebMD ever just say "you're fine, there's nothing wrong with you, go play outside you drama queen?"
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@stephenjmolloy: Me with megaphone: "COME DOWN FROM THERE. YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR." Man: "I'm fixing your roof tiles, remember?" Me: "I FORGOT!"
@wickedsuga: *buys extra movie ticket seat so I'll have a place to put my microwave bc I'll be damned if I'm paying that much for popcorn