@NervousJr: Does "who cares" count as advice?
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@Adar79Angie: I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito. It was a Dorito in my bra.
@HannahAntics: 30 seconds into Taylor Swifts new song I started hoping Kanye would interrupt her.
@FaisalAdam_: I try not to tell people I had shoddy dental implants done, but whenever in a conversation, it just comes out.
@dyldonot: [first date] me: [don't let her know you're a microwave] her: my food is a bit cold me: [my head starts slowly rotating]