@heatherjs: Does your wife know you're single?
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@ayyyyloser: "And then she kissed the frog and saw him turn into a prince, because kissing frogs makes you hallucinate." -me as a babysitter
@TheSharona06: My morning commute was hectic today. I tripped over a dog toy and almost spilled my coffee. I made it to the couch safely though.
@Home_Halfway: INTERN 1: 6 in the Oval Office INTERN 2: 4 in the Roosevelt Room INTERN 3: 1 in the Lincoln Bedroom BIDEN: Okay, let's go catch some Pokemon