@wilw: Dog: I like pizza. Me: You've never had pizza. Dog: It's food. Me: So? Dog: So I like it. Me: I'm not giving you my pizza.
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@Playing_Dad: Welcome to passive aggressive club. We're so happy you came twenty minutes late. Sure, get a cup of coffee, we'll wait.
@causticbob: I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear'
@Easy_Tiger__: If Kristen Stewart played the daughter in Taken, Liam Neeson would probably just let the bad guys have her.
@AimeeHelene1: News said how hard it'd be to shoplift a turkey. Amateurs. It's all about commitment. *stuffs turkey under shirt* *whines that back hurts*