@jonnysun: DOG: [looking out the window] wat a beautiful mornimg! the sky is grey, the grass is grey, the birds are grey and readey to eat,
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@TheMichaelRock: Do women know that it's perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
@Kimgee8: Apparently "naked" is not the answer when someone mad at you asked, how do you sleep at night?
@jonnysun: JESUS: hey check this oute [turns my water into wine] ME: woa!! thanks jesus JESUS: [grabs wine out of my hands] NO!! THIS IS MY BLOOD NOW