@aka_fatman: Dog Morpheus: Ok, Dog Neo. You take the grey pill, you wake up in your kennel. But if you take the GREY pill - I will show you the Matrix.
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@adamhess1: I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
@WetzelGeek: Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.
@batkaren: KID: Why's the sky blue DAD: It's sad MOM: Light refraction DAD: … MOM: … DAD: (*mumbling*) light refraction
@FatherWithTwins: "Daddy, I was just in the bathroom peeing, nothing else. That's all, so you don't need to look." - my 6yo, not sounding at all suspicious