@aka_fatman: Dog Morpheus: Ok, Dog Neo. You take the grey pill, you wake up in your kennel. But if you take the GREY pill - I will show you the Matrix.
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@rodney_at_large: If the final comments of your speech last 45 minutes, please don't preface them with "and lastly".
@SillySassySmart: The awkwardness of my life is equivalent to when somebody says "Happy Birthday" and you say "Thanks you too!"
@wife_housy: Felt sad that rabbits ate all my marigolds. Then felt glad that I don't have to water them anymore. Suburban life is a roller coaster.
@INDlAN_: [phone call with ex] Me: you want to hang out tonight? Ex: sure. When & where? Me: no, we’re not going. It’s enough just to know you would.