@TheAlexNevil: *Dog puts cupcake on my nose and tells me to "stay"
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@hinnaz: Brazone : when a woman wants you to always support her, but gets rid of you the moment she is home and comfortable.
@Adar79Angie: The security camera at work has "too many instances" of me acting like a dinosaur on film. And "any amount" is "too many." According to HR.
@noog: Put on sunglasses. Now run past a crowd of people with your index finger on your ear screaming "SNIPER HAS BEEN SPOTTED SIR"
@RelatabIe: whenever my mom criticizes me i yell “it’s probably genetic” and run out of the room as fast as i can