@AndyAsAdjective: Dog shampoo was on sale & cheaper than my normal shampoo so it looks like I'm going to have a shiny, healthy coat for the next few weeks.
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@SCbchbum: Officer pulled me over & asked if I knew what the speed limit was, like I'm getting paid to tell him his job.
@CakeThrottle: I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel. It was tomorrow.
@Rlpihl: Girl are you the burning bush? Cuz you're hot. And there's no conceivable reason you should be talking to me.