@fro_vo: Dog Teacher: did you finish your homework
Dog Student: (still chewing) almost
@ssholeEric: A weeping willow tree is just like a regular willow tree only married
@GroperCleveland: MTV has ordered a reality show to follow a group of virgins. That sounds very interesting and riveting and get that camera out of my face.
@valerie_tosi: Little known fact: Arizona's state flower is pavement.
@juliussharpe: That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
@motrboatr: Thanks, but it's spelled "sexiest", not "sexist". Stupid woman.