@LostInMyWorld97: Dog tried taking me for a run. I wasn't having it. I made her drag me the whole time.
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@Rollinintheseat: My life is a constant battle of wanting to pet a dog and not wanting to talk to its owner.
@jewfacekilla: Girl in the locker room put her pants on the floor and tried to hop into them. I was going to call her awesomepants, but coma girl works too
@Audenary: (WW1 1915) ENGLISH GENERAL: Plan? ENGLISH LIEUTENANT: Well, the trenches can be used to- ENGLISH MAJOR: to symbolise man's emptiness, yes...
@Amburglar_: I hate when I'm getting a back rub & he stops 3 mins in & says "my thumbs hurt." It's not like I ever say "My jaw hurts." I finish the job.