@DoogieHorner: Dogs are "practice babies" and cats are "practice ex-girlfriends you still have to share an apartment with."
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@SamGrittner: I celebrate International Women's Day by visiting my local CVS and torching all their 'JUST FOR MEN' products while screaming: "NOT TODAY!"
@Home_Halfway: It was when I stabbed a Capri Sun perfectly the first time, right in that grey circle, that I knew I wanted to be an assassin.
@AristotlesNZ: I went to M.C. Hammer's house once. It was annoying. He won't let you touch anything.
@envydatropic: They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that's why I surround myself with lazy people