@DoogieHorner: Dogs are "practice babies" and cats are "practice ex-girlfriends you still have to share an apartment with."
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@Bratterina: *puts on cloak of invisibility, whooshes past ex, flipping him off "Jenna, that's a hoodie, I can see you" *makes a ghost voice: NoOoOoOo
@NoTheOtherJohn: [Lies on resume about having gone to preschool] Boss: You're hired. Your first task is to make me a macaroni picture. Me: *eyes widen* what
@JustDontBugMe: When I found out that my neighbour is scared of dogs I bought one And I have never seen him since.