@SamReidSays: Dogs are probably really excited about dog sledding before they find out what it actually is.
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@Tommytoughstuff: Dating tip: don't mention your time as a Boy Scout, let your sash full of badges do the talkin.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Therapist sighs, sets down glasses, rubs the bridge of his nose. "For the last time, Christy, eating ham is not a life plan."
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old daughter: Why does Mom wear makeup? Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.