@MeReflectingMe: Dogs are the most loyal, protective creatures on the planet unless someone near you has food and then lol you're on your own.
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@JohnCleese: Hotel Security just knocked on my door to deliver a package. He asked for indentification. I showed him my book,with my name and face on it
@AIanHangover: Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you.
@roxxyrolla1: When will this end?? This had been so much harder than I thought. It’s all such a mess. I can’t do this anymore!!! - me, 3 hours into eating a pomegranate.
@Holy_Mowgli: SHARK—i bit 82 ppl this year OCTOPUS—hold my beer hold my beer hold my beer hold my beer hold my beer hold my beer hold my beer hold my beer