@Mr_Kapowski: Dogs that belong to homeless people must think "just say you're sorry dude and we can sleep inside tonight"
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@Phook75: It surely can't be a coincidence that Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog share the same middle name
@E_lok44: When a 230 lb man yells from the shower for a towel, but you hand him a face cloth, he won't find it nearly as funny as you do.
@KevinFarzad: It's nice to know that even people who are running for President are shitty at answering "What is your greatest weakness?"