@Mr_Kapowski: Dogs that belong to homeless people must think "just say you're sorry dude and we can sleep inside tonight"
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@carlyken: So how do you stop eating the endless breadsticks at Olive Garden does the restaurant close or are you supposed to bring a spotter with you?
@iamspacegirl: Dog *just lookin at me* Me: go lay down Dog: ok. Cat *kneading her claws into my stomach* Me *wincing*: thank you Cat: damn right thank you
@DaddyJew: Me: *eating a snack* Dog trainer: those are for the dog Me: then why does it look like bacon? Dog trainer: to fool the dog Me: *still eating them* I see
@Chelsea_Elle: So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.