@Hurly_Burly: Doing some research on the Fresh Prince of Belair. Does anybody know where he was born and raised and where he spent most of his days?
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@pleatedjeans: [sees kid crying in grocery store] hey little guy [kneels down to his level] Can you please move you're blocking the Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
@Reverend_Scott: mugger: GIMME UR MONEY "All I have is this $5 grandma gave me on my birthday" [mugger pulls off mask revealing grandma] IT'S PAYBACK TIME
@thatcarlygirl: Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave.
@sbellelauren: whenever i trip a skinny girl running in only a sports bra i feel like i'm doing god's work