@Beerhaze: Doing the splits is easy -- slip on the first snowy step when taking the dog out and let gravity (and panic) make you an Olympic gymnast!
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@DaddyJew: Apparently shouting out "he has a gun" isn't the best way to let everyone in the bank know that you see the security guard. I know this now.
@BiIIMurray: I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
@DarzieDAMN: That artsy picture you took of your Jack Daniels really spoke to me. It said "This persons an alcoholic but still takes decent pictures."
@KKAlThani: The girl at the table next to me is having a salad. Not as a starter, but as a main course like some kind of rabbit.