@Beerhaze: Doing the splits is easy -- slip on the first snowy step when taking the dog out and let gravity (and panic) make you an Olympic gymnast!
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@GensPlace: I'm not sure about accusing someone of wanting to get into my pants. I'd like to see him try. I can hardly get into them myself..
@WhatsHerFace33: A spider jumped on my wife which made her stumble backwards and fall over her bag. Oh how I laughed! Tweet posted from the guest bedroom.
@Sickayduh: [Ring] "Expert Namer Guy" You the dude that named anteater? "Yep" I got a bug. Not moving. Has wings though. "Mayfly" *muffled* oh he's good
@jaslakhmna: You may have a drinking problem - when your mother asks you to toast the bread.....and you raise your glass and say "here's to the bread"!