@kimlockhartga: Dolly Madison should make snack cakes for diet "cheat days" and call them Ashley Madisons.
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@TheSharona06: That guy who just spent 2 hours washing and waxing his sportscar looks like a douche. C'mon boys, you know what to do. - Birds, probably
@neiltyson: Now that robots move their limbs smoothly and with grace, I wonder how we’re supposed to imitate them on the dance floor.
@GrowlyGrego: Kiss me you fool. Embrace me you dolt. Cuddle me you simpleton. Marry me you megalomaniac. HAVE MY BABY YOU GARBAGE PERSON.
@Sassafrantz: My date said he wasn't looking for anything serious like I was trying to help him solve cold case files and shit.