@kimlockhartga: Dolly Madison should make snack cakes for diet "cheat days" and call them Ashley Madisons.
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@SwartyComedy: They'll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that's been open for more than 2 years.
@gtfml: When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
@carlyken: Jesus take the wheel. No that's a book. A penny. A rock. DAMMIT JESUS DIDN'T YOU TAKE THAT ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE CLASS I RECOMMENDED