@Cheeseboy22: Dolphin scientists say that dolphins are the smartest animal next to humans, but I think they're only saying that because they're dolphins.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Dildotron: [planning for wedding] i found us a remote location "Omg where?" *points to fanny pack stapled to wall above TV* The remote goes there now
@WilliamAder: My wife's returning today after an 8-day trip, so I should probably dampen the kitchen sponge and re-position it.
@sgrstk: I want a girl who's crazy, but considerate. Like, if she stays home on a Friday night, she's not resting — she's giving the world a break.