@KKAlThani: Dolphins are just Sharks who watch Glee.
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@Playing_Dad: *turns on shower* *shower whispers "eat donuts for breakfast" & "get drunk tonight"* Me: Wow, that's some serious water pressure
@WilliamAder: My Twitter clique is basically five or six people who have mistaken me for someone else.
@hippieswordfish: 'maybe the world wasn't ready for pizza perfume' i thought to myself as i hid in a dumpster, watching the townspeople try to eat each other
@TheSeanBrewster: Sometimes I'll take such a good picture of someone I'm like "this is definitely making it into the slide show at their funeral."