@ohthatbadger: Donald Duck is far too angry for somebody who never has to suffer pants.
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@better_off_dad: *at divorce court Me: She hasn't touched Mr. Peppy in 10 years, your Honor. Judge: I'm sorry - What?? Her: I win, right?
@daemonic3: Caveman1: look, I invent wheel Caveman2: what we do now? Caveman1: wait for Jesus to take wheel Caveman2: dum dum Jesus not invented yet
@Chumpstring: BARTENDER: taste this beer ME: [tastes it] omg i literally can't even BARTENDER: it has pumpkin spice in it ME: hmm... yeah that explains it