@kumailn: Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem.
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@Playing_Dad: I once sat down with Oprah to discuss my drug use but I was high & that might not have been Oprah because why did she need to borrow money?
@kikdbakbitch: 7: I need a pet pig so I can always have bacon. Me: There are some fundamental flaws in your plan but I like the way you think.
@Mom_Overboard: *tumbles down basement stairs, laundry flying everywhere* Me: *whispers through pain* parkour...