@bobvulfov: DONALD TRUMP (45 minutes into watching wall-e): this film is not what i hoped it would be
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@thepunningman: Ikea said if they catch me stealing any more kitchen utensils I'll be banned for life. But I'm willing to take the whisk.
@Jake_Vig: "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave." "But after that I'm not responsible for any more room charges, correct?"
@skitzoette: Never confuse a colostomy bag with a whoopie cushion. Totally ruined Grandpa's 90th birthday.