@themorris23: Donald Trump always looks like he's just opened a really hot oven.
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@Tmoney68: If you didn't get called to a meeting with your 5-yr-old son's principal because he was inviting girls to his "naked party," you aren't me.
@Be___Dope: Her: baby can you come up here and play with me? Me: *sprints up stairs Her: I'm kidding. Can you hand me the remote? Me: this is so us
@smint: In my pocket is a computer far more powerful than the one that took Apollo11 to the Moon. I use it to photograph food & fling birds at pigs.