@citizenkawala: Donald Trump has all the resources to be Batman. Instead, he chooses to be Donald Trump.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: scientist: he's going to be identical to you in every way me: every way? [my clone trips stepping out of the machine] holy shit
@Playing_Dad: Me: Can I bet $20 on the Panthers to win the Super Bowl? Government: Sorry, no Me: Ok, can I buy 1k in powerball tickets? G: Lol, of course
@Reverend_Scott: OK THERE. DID I PASS YOUR STUPID SOBRIETY TEST YET? Cop: Sir, you're still laying on the ground where you fell down.