@tmckenna1: "Donald Trump is feuding with the Pope" is like the 7th Onion headline that's become real life in this election season
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@sarcasticmommy4: If you're not sure about having kids, have someone say "Mom!" 100 times before 7am & see if it's right for you.
@andylassner: Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle
@SteveSuckington: "Sorry my phone died" -something I've said 5,326 times but it's never actually happened