@tmckenna1: "Donald Trump is feuding with the Pope" is like the 7th Onion headline that's become real life in this election season
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@Dschnoeb: I think the only girl I know that hasn't said "you're like a brother to me" is my sister.
@LousyBastard: I'm sorry I dropped your baby and doubly sorry I nudged it under the crib with my foot so you wouldn't notice.
@allthenachos: We're going to build a great wall to keep the inspirational tweets out. And Facebook is going to pay for it. Make Twitter Great Again.
@wolfpupy: thinking about eating a lot of candy. which i have obtained legaly, through the trick or treat system, for many years