@hipstermermaid: Donald Trump is like the "Scream" movies in that he blurs the line between comedy and horror.
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@pleatedjeans: I never pay for drinks I just insult women at bars & when they throw drinks in my face I open my mouth haha thanks for the free booze ladies
@rorynotroy: if ur ever in a scary movie situation and find that the phone cords been cut just act like the phone still works thatll confuse the bad guy
@jergarl: [on phone with debit fraud] Bank guy: Sir do you shop on line at all Me: DUDE IT'S 2017 WE BUY TOILET PAPER ONLINE BG: M: Sometimes. Yes