@JoParkerBear: Donald Trump is probably the closest we'll ever get to electing Eric Cartman president.
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@pixelatedboat: I’ve been filming the couple next to me on this flight for the last 45 minutes hoping they’ll do something that could go viral. No good content so far (the woman looks very uncomfortable and the man keeps threatening to have me arrested)
@drunkNnaughty: If you have to ask if it's too early to drink...you're an amateur & we can't be friends
@Dwarven_Cleric: After living in terror for 27 years, Gloria Estefan's threat is realized; I open my car door, and am brutally attacked by the rhythm.
@shashaintl: Him: Are you gonna kill me? Me: WHAT? Him: Your mood swings. I figured today's the day I die. Me: Him: *whispers* Please don't hurt me.