@JoParkerBear: Donald Trump is probably the closest we'll ever get to electing Eric Cartman president.
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@SortaBad: We can land a rover on freakin Mars but still no single-button to push for the ¯_(ツ)_/¯ emoji
@daemonic3: [interview] Any questions? "Why isn't Bigfoot called Bigfeet?" No about working here "Oh! If he worked here would you call him Bigfeet?"
@sunexplode: Act happy in the supermarket checkout line to contradict the sad story unfolding on the conveyor belt.
@ValeeGrrl: [at son's Little League game] ME: which one's yours OTHER MOM: the pitcher. You? ME: the one performing Lord of the Dance in left field