@JoParkerBear: Donald Trump is probably the closest we'll ever get to electing Eric Cartman president.
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@UberFacts: A Chicago High School played Justin Bieber's "Baby" between classes and students had to pay to stop it - They earned $1,000 in 3 days.
@ScottyBondo: Just walked into my local court house, they were all sitting around in a circle with black candles and robes trying to summon a jury #funny
@Mr_Kapowski: With the ferocity that my 6 y/o daughter knocked on the bathroom door there was either a murderer in the house or a cat did something cute
@knot_eye: Upon graduation from the University of Phoenix, do they just send you a screencap of your degree?