@JoParkerBear: Donald Trump is probably the closest we'll ever get to electing Eric Cartman president.
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@CatherineLMK: "I'm $50 away from getting free shipping which is only $5 and what I want is $12 so I need to spend $38 more to save money." -my brain
@_Mo_lee_: Guy:Hey what are you doing? Girl:unzipping it Guy:why? Girl:I want to see how big it is. .. *Unzips tent and gets inside* Girl:nice, nice..
@SchuylerPryor: Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphs.
@jumpdashark: My friend called me from a private number last night so I just returned the favor by knocking on his door with a ski mask on.