@badbanana: Donald Trump says he'll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she'll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people.
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@PoliUncorrect: Interviewer: we need someone experienced, this job will break you... Worm: (slowly breaks itself in two while maintaining eye contact)
@Cheeseboy22: Sure I could get off the couch & put new batteries in this remote but instead I am going to hold it high above my head & at different angles
@sad_tree: *I throw my hat into the ring* Oh you wanna fight do ya? *I throw my pants into the ring* Pal this is gettin' weird *I throw my skin into th