@badbanana: Donald Trump says he'll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she'll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people.
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@KentWGraham: My wife says I’ve left the toilet seat up “like a bajillion times” but I’m contacting Jill Stein to demand a recount.
@Andrea__B__: The most important thing in life is to be yourself, unless you can be Batman...always go with Batman
@torrami: All the kings horses and all the kings men probably feel like they're being grossly underutilized with that whole egg thing.
@GrantTanaka: Best thing about drinking in downtown LA is that if u need a bathroom, it's all around you