@badbanana: Donald Trump says he'll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she'll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people.
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@EndhooS: Do you know how fast you were going sir? "15,000mph?" Wha? No,like 65? "Seems pretty slow wouldn't you say?" I guess so. "Ok bye" bye?
@Birdhumms: Me: Help someone is trying to gain entry to my home, send the police! Her: Calm down, where are they now? Me: Still ringing the doorbell
@nachosarah: hey pregnant lady slowly crossing the street on a green light it's a baby not a forcefield