@missmayn: Donald Trump should start preparing for next season of Dancing With The Stars.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Dad! Dad! My sister- Me: Stop tattling. I don't want to hear about it unless there's blood. 5: Me: 5: How much blood?
@WheelTod: [Lounging in hot tub] Paul the Plum: "I'm starting to shrivel up like a..." Pete the Prune: "Oh just say it, Paul. Like a what?!"