Done with dating sites. I'm now focusing on pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a job, a car, and pizza.

@Social_Mime: Every day I'm hoping is the day we find out why Beth from FB had enough but didn't want to talk about it.

1

@fightforfood: We get it, cacti, you have great biceps.

103

1

@girlwithatail: “And now we wait.” —me when I dislike someone before my friends do.

1

@Dutch_50: The picture heading read “Panorama!” I thought it said “Paranormal” I wasted hours staring at these elongated images looking for ghosts.

1

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets