@LindaInDisguise: Done with dating sites. I'm now focusing on pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a job, a car, and pizza.
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@Australianimal: Taken 4: Liam Neeson's daughter is kidnapped again. He calls up kidnappers and says "just keep her. She's annoying and I'm tired of this"
@GaryJanetti: When I was in my twenties we didn't have hipsters we had AIDS, which was almost as bad.
@sickipediabot: Apparently the meteor passed within 17,000 miles of the planet last night. Nearly as far away as my wife parks from the kerb.
@CauseWereGuys: The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' we should call it prosti..... oh wait.