@lazerdoov: Don't ask a pregnant lady "do you know the sex?" obviously she knows about sex she's pregnant you stupid idiot
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@psybermonkey: Peter Pan: just think happy thoughts! Me: um, ok [1 hour later] Peter: *pouring prozac into my hand* look we don't have all goddamn night
@GoldenSpirals: The greatest trick the devil ever played was offering a buy one get one free sale one day after you already purchased two at regular price.
@ReaIRonSwanson: 24 astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the planet?
@BuckyIsotope: “I don’t have to run faster than the bear. I just have to run faster than you,” I say to my hiking companion. It is Usain Bolt. A bear waves