@RichardDawkins: Don't ask God to cure cancer & world poverty. He's too busy finding you a parking space & fixing the weather for your barbecue.
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@BradBroaddus: It's hard to tweet and change the baby's diaper at the same time.nnI probably should have waited until I got to a red light.
@Shock_Monster: I think the guy in front of me is trying to resolve the world's economic issues single handedly at this ATM.
@silvertongue37: I could survive 3 months in the wilderness with a pocket knife and the contents of a woman's purse.
@Cheeseboy22: If I wanted to drive my wife insane, I'd secretly raise a colony of bees & place one new bee inside of her car each morning for ten years.