@CakeLikeBeth: Don't ask me how I managed to take this because I'm not entirely sure
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@abhorrent_wife: I'm at my sexiest when I find the grown out patch of hair on the outside of my ankle I missed with the razor the last 17 times I shaved.
@GensPlace: Online dating has its good points. You can choose your own name, lie through your teeth and you can't smell their breath.
@Nahdude83: [10 mins into couples therapy] Therapist: I cannot help you two. Me: Let's go, Betsy! See! She doesn't listen! T: GET YOUR DOG OFF MY COUCH!
@Flattliner: I'm introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.