@CakeLikeBeth: Don't ask me how I managed to take this because I'm not entirely sure
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@Sickayduh: [First date] Her: I'm really glad you asked me out yesterday in the park Me: *looking under table* you didn't bring your dog?
@internetluke: [on phone with mom] SHE SAID YES!!!! "congrats, son" I asked her if she thought I was weird "Wait what?" She thinks I'm weird. We broke up
@funnyfries: I just met a woman who told me she had "trouble keeping weight on" in times of stress. I ate her.