@WilliamAder: Don't ask me if I have a safety pin if you're going to look at me all weird when I pull one out of my pocket and hand it to you.
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@LexReturns: The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements which may or may not have included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later.
@Book_Krazy: Boss: You took another 2 hr lunch. Were you drinking? Me: No B: Tell me our company policy M: Lol, I can't even do that when I'm sober
@FrogAvalanche: *live news report - You survived a fall of thousands of feet... - Yes. - Parachute failed? - Parachute? Haha. No. It was raining centipedes.
@Vj_Phresh: I'm so broke right now, if my gf leaves me for a richer person I'm going with them -__-