@EliseRose5: Don't be an ass, be an arse. Do it with class.
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@stevedildarian: CNN is confirming that the only news in the world today is the blizzard. everything else is under control.
@gmossii: Every time I put on my striped socks I always have an ominous feeling that today is the day that a house will drop on me.
@joshgondelman: I know a bunch of guys who are like Christian Grey but without the money and the handsomeness. They're in jail.
@joeljeffrey: The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.