@KentWGraham: Don’t be fooled by the treadmill in my basement. I got it so I can be in a recliner drinking a beer even when I’m walking the dog.
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@GaryJanetti: Thinking of adopting a child. What color should I get? Keep in mind my walls are eggshell and cinnamon.
@AndyAsAdjective: [watching The Avengers] 7YR OLD: daddy, why does Hulk get so angry? ME: probably because his kid won't stop asking questions during movies