@charliedelta7: Don't be offended if I speak to you condescendingly. Be happy that I care enough to be sure your simple mind understands what I'm saying.
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@HuffPostComedy: Louis C.K. perfectly sums up Boston accents in his new special 'Live At The Comedy Store'
@neiltyson: To tell you the truth, beginning a sentence with “To tell you the truth” throws into question all else you’ve previous said.
@3sunzzz: I'll take Dumb Ideas for $300, Alex. Your Answer: sit on the ground and eat food while bugs crawl all over you What is a picnic? Correct!
@markleggett: You can eat up to three spiders every night in your sleep, except on "cheat days" when you can eat as many as you like.