@AmarndaBvnes: don’t be offended if someone doesn’t reply to your text. their phone is prob “just on silent” or “right in front of their lying face”
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Vice_Queen: Calling bullshit on movies. Not once have I walked into a public restroom and found a gun taped to the back of the toilet.
@murrman5: [family hears me pull in driveway] wife: please don't wrestling announcer: sorry ma'am he already paid me. NOW ENTERING THE HOUSE FROM WORK
@KyleMcDowell86: [Elephant at a party] Nice piano! [me] thanks [Elephant] What are the keys made of? [Me] Uhh.. [Rhino appears behind me] Tell him Kyle
@BreadFoster: I can't wait until Taylor Swift breaks up with a black guy so she can put out a rap album.