@aparnapkin: Don't be part of the problem, be the whole problem
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@bourgeoisalien: Hey, Christianity- what's all the fuss about a virgin anyway? I could be a virgin if I wanted to. But I don't. Because sex. Also? More sex.
@nuttywhippet: Ancient Chinese proverb: man who go to bed with itchy bottom, wake up with smelly finger.
@FuttyNudgekins: When I see a self-help book at a secondhand store, I wonder...does that mean it worked, or it is bullshit?
@amydillon: When you have kids, "sleeping in" is just lying in bed trying to figure out what that crash was.