@jonnysun: dont be sad, girl. u are like a iceberg.. 90% of ur beauty is below the surface. now 95%. now 100% OMG GIRL ARE YOU DROWNIMG
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@HenpeckedHal: Some say their relationship is built on trust. Others, friendship. Mine is built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
@BrownDogBlanket: I started an organization for the ethical treatment of plants. Because we shouldn't eat the things that make oxygen. Your move Vegans
@sixfootcandy: [moving day] Me: Here we go. Bye house. Husband: You forgot the kids. Me: I filled out a change of address card. They’ll find us eventually.
@filth_waste: how are we gonna sell our car this year? how about a commercial where the car is driving around on roads. great work everyone time for lunch