@simoncholland: Don't believe anything a weatherman says until he takes off the jacket and rolls up the sleeves.
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@catlikethiefx0: The 1st rule of Female Fight Club is: You didn't hear this from me! Seriously do NOT tell anyone I told you, I promised I wouldn't tell.
@SmithWit: He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him. I'll ask him again when he wakes up.
@Playing_Dad: *consoling friend who is a baker* I'm really sorry about the fire at your bread shop. Looks like your business is toast now.